Oct 5th

Im typing on my MACBook Pro. Steve Jobs passed away today. Thank you Steve Jobs. You have so many quotes that business people use. You've been an innovator, inspiration, and workaholic. Very few of you remain. Here's a quote I saw today and made me think of people like Steve Jobs, but it goes for everyone: students, actors, artists, scientists, teachers, etc.....

Oct 4th

I was thinking about this today in class. Exactly 2 years ago today I promise you I woke up really early in the wonderful city of NYC , went to the gym, worked out, trained 1 or 2 people, tried to find more clients so that my monthly budget of 2500 dollars would be met, then went to my bartending job at Angus. I know this because I worked the Tuesday afternoon shift for almost 5 years so I'm guessing the odds would be that I'd be going to work that day. I would set up the bar and set up all the tables then I would talk to the manager about drastic, life changing topics like covering shifts, being out of coffee pots, salt and peppers not being filled from the night before, stock not being done, and real life changing things like candle use and spots on silverware. When the night crew would come in at 5, I would take my 30 dollars (Only 2470 dollars short of my budget) and go home. I would do important things that needed to be done like watch The Biggest Loser, get on facebook, and then find auditions that there would be no way in hell I'd be going to because I had 50 more hours of work that week.

Today in grad school I learned how to juggle.

I feel like I'm doing better now.

Oct 2

I had a lovely dinner with friends last night and the topic of work ethic came up. Being the "old" guy at school I was telling them that from my experience, once you get out in the real world your work ethic decreases by about 80%, if not more. If you spend 10 hours a day perfecting your craft in college, you'll find yourself only working about an hour a day in the real world. If you spend 2 hours a day perfecting your craft in college, forget about it, you might as well be looking for a new career. The reason i came back to college was because I know that the only time you grow immensely as an artist or actor is in studio and college. The moment you get your degree you will find 1,444,876,392,085,476,213 reasons not to go to an audition, expand your repertoire, learn new things, read new plays, relearn stuff you learned in school, try new things, expose yourself to new ideas, force yourself to take a chance, and the countless other things we do on an everyday basis here. I love to hear young people say "no, not me. I won't do that". HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! Yes you. I'm sorry. Even you.

I'm reading about Sondheim right now and am floored by the amount of projects, compositions, collaborative teams, collaborative projects, etc that he did while he was in school. I suppose he's done alright for himself. We live in a society now that we really want to just do enough to get by and we'll "hit it big" because deep down the Gods know how much we want it and will present us with the opportunity. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! oh, that's funny.

I'm starting to get worried about my time left here. There is so much more I want to get accomplished and I know that when I leave here some of those opportunities will be gone forever. I will never force myself to sit down and learn the things I'm being forced to learn now and that scares the hell out of me. With less than a year left, I feel like I'm a 4/10 at where I should be as an actor to compete in this business. I know what's out there. It's not getting to the 5/10, but it's the 6-8 that scares the living fuck out of me. That is an area that excites me and will take me to a place as an artist that I'm only dreaming of now. But I know how hard it'll be and how much pain there might be involved in that and maybe why I have an arm length keeping me from it. I have friends in NY who are absolutely brilliant on stage. They have done things that leave my jaw dropped and would earn them their MFA's in one day. I possess that. Somewhere inside me I do. I see drops of it every once in awhile. But it's not enough. I only live once. I want to look back at my talent at the age of 35 and say, "Oh, I was such an amateur then". Every minute, every hour, every day, every class, my goal is to get closer to that goal. I guess that's why I'm destroying myself in school right now. Because two years from now, there is a possibility that I could never act on stage again. And I don't want to wish I worked harder in school. This is my time. This is my time to make it happen.

October 1st

What have I missed since the last entry? (that's what she said) Let's see....... Got cast as Sid in Pajama Game, started teaching my classes, must be firm yet friendly, a kid threw up in my class on Friday, it's hot, the hurricane missed us and hit NYC instead, there was an earthquake, I worked my ass off and performed the first reading of my 9/11 piece (please refer to my other blog), this semester has kicked me in the balls, thrown me down, and punctured my brain with Shakespeare, theory , and movement techniques that I never knew existed. I wake up at 5:30 am everyday and go straight through until 10 or 11, I haven't watched any of my TV shows this season, my girlfriend is the most amazing person ever, I forgot what it was like to root for a college football team that sucks...but I remember now, my roommate cries when I throw her a surprise Christmas party for her birthday, I've grown more of an attitude of not caring what anyone thinks and am becoming more like my father and starting to hate when people tell me what to do for no other reason than to make themselves feel better. I'm predicting that I will die from an accident that texting or talking on the phone is involved. I love teaching. I think I have the potential to become a great great great acting teacher. I relearned how to sing in one lesson after doing it wrong for the past 7 years. I will always have a future in comedy and musical theater, as long as neither one of them involves dancing. I'm old and not old at the same time. Giving up soda is tough. The Charlie Sheen roast could have been much better. Forgiveness, friendship, and trust is a 10 act play. I like cats- the animal more than the musical. I miss NYC so much sometimes it hurts. I have many friends who are engaged, just got married, are pregnant, or just had a kid.

Well, that sums up the last 3 months. I will be better at this funny writing shit again. I miss the release (that's what she said).