29th Day of Summer

For all of you who have kids, you're going to laugh in my face. For those who know me, you're going to laugh in my face.

1st Day of Babysitting my 6 yr old niece, Tatum.

7:30 am- Woke up to her face right in mine saying "Uncle Jason, daddy told me to wake you"

7:37 am- Finally got my whereabouts and got up. She had been standing at the door for the past 7 minutes waiting to come downstairs with her.

7:45 am- Received instructions from the task master that she would like her toast not toasted, with butter, and no crusts. She reminds me not to forget the blueberries.

7:50-7:52 am- Looked around the kitchen for her vitamins until she rolled her eyes at me and got them herself.

8 am- I finally had my morning pee

8:20 am- Watched 10 minutes of some acid induced thing that was on the Disney channel with her until I started playing Pink Floyd to see if it matched up with the video.

8:30 am- Put on Peter Pan for her

8:32 am- Sat down to some light reading of the 9/11 Commission Report

8:33 am- Had to chase and kill the huge fly that was flying around her

9:02 am- Successfully killed the fly

9:07 am- She got tired of Peter Pan and we played Barbie cars on the back porch

9:10 am- Called the prince by the wrong name and she rolled her eyes and left me to play by myself.

10 am- She informed me of her bathroom going ons

10:15 am- She thought I was ridiculous when I told her about mine

11 am- Got into argument because I didn't know any fancy ways to "do" her hair. Was informed that brushing it did not consist of "doing anything" with her hair. I tried to use the excuse that I was a boy and didn't know anything fancy. She challenged me with the fact that my brother is a boy but no one was there to laugh when I said "Not really". She rolled her eyes and said "what about a clip". She didn't find it funny when I replied "What about it?".

11:15 am- She got dressed and I put her hair up as close to what I thought Cindi Lauper would have worn in 1984.

11:17-11:22 am- Looking for a bandaid because the small cut on her foot is rubbing against her sock until she rolls her eyes at me and gets the bandaid herself. She does not find it amusing after I put the bandaid on I fake that I have paddles in my hands and have to shock her heart back to life. She rolls her eyes and walks away.

11:30 am- Went to Dave and Busters to play games. All of the waitresses gave me a lot of attention cause it looked like....well face it....I was fucking adorable walking in with her and us laughing with each other.

11:45 am- She hits the jackpot on the fishing game and wins 1000 tickets. I'm so proud.

12:06 pm- I teach her how to play skeet ball and she gets a 20 and says that's the most she ever got and I start getting teary eyed.

12:10 pm- I flirt with most of the waitresses

12:17 pm- Security notifies me that they found her.... her who?

1:00 pm- We leave Dave and Busters with an oversized horse and I make her say "I love you so much UNCLE Jason loud enough for everyone there to hear.

1:08 pm- She complains that the air isn't on in the car. I haven't started the car yet.

1:30-3pm- We eat lunch and both watch the Disney channel and I watch dozen of teen actors who have more talent than their writers and actually get sucked into the plot of some shows and even get upset a few times that the realism was skipped over at a few places.

1:32 pm- Finally can put Selena Gomez's face with the name. Please don't become the next Lindsay.

3pm- She wants to go over to her neighbor's house to play and they play until 4 while I read the 9/11 Commission Report and figure out how to get Osama and Al Qaeda into my show without shoving it down the audiences' faces. They want to murder infidels, but more importantly Americans, and not women and children, because all of us are infidels.

4:15 pm- Have a tea party with Tatum, the 2 horses, and the baby Tiana doll.

4 pm- Ride bikes around the block a couple times and try to teach her how to get the pedal to go around while scooting the bike up. She sucks in a lot of air and blows it out to show her frustration. It is then I realize she will look back at this moment in the future and realize why she despises me.

6:00 pm- She practices piano, I tell her if she curled her fingers more.... before I can finish she rolls her eyes and says "I got it".

6:02 pm- I shoot her with tranquilizers and put her to bed. See you tomorrow.

Memorial Day of Summer

Usually Memorial Day starts the beginning of summer, but hell, I'm going on a month of vacation so far. I feel like it's the middle. By the time 4th of July rolls around, I'll be back to school shopping. Plus...... I get to WEAR WHITE NOW!!!!! (In an Oprah/gay sounding voice)

Well, today Coach Tressel "resigned". The sweater vest is gone. The truth of the matter is that every single college program does this with their student athletes, but just a few get caught. OSU got caught. Please don't feel your program is all high and mighty because you think you're squeaky clean.... the higher profile the school is, the more the shit goes down. The Beatles were once thought to be squeaky clean when compared to the Rolling Stones. Guess what... Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds and Octopus's Garden aren't diddies they composed while playing Trivial Pursuit.

I am upset with how it went down at OSU with all of this but I'm not going to be the one who points fingers or tries to spin it to make us look like we're being unfairly treated. Yeah, life ain't fair. You know the rules, if you break the rules, you pay the consequences. End of story. That's why we hate lawyers so much who try to get serial killers off for a loophole in the system. We get pissed when we get pulled over for speeding when we know very well that the guy next to us was going faster than we were, or the pretty girl was going the same speed but happened to have pretty eyes so she didn't get a ticket.

We hate being wrong. We hate admitting guilt. We hate being embarrassed. I laugh at the hardcore conservatives and liberals who are able to spin every single issue that their party failures are the other party's fault. When did "I fucked up. Sorry" become a taboo statement? It's maybe because I feel I have said that so much in my life that it's gotten kind of watered down for me. What is it about being wrong that destroys our insides and our existence?

Why is Charlie Sheen fascinating? He admits to everything! What makes Tiger Woods an idiot? He gives a poopy apologetic press conference that didn't include the phrase "I fucked a lot of whores and liked it. Sorry." Barry Bonds? Do you think the constant denial will make it all go away? Clinton sucked because older Bush sucked. Newer Bush sucked because Clinton sucked. Obama sucked because newer Bush sucked. Guess why the next president will suck? (None of these are factual statements, but it's pretty easy to just accept it right?)

I know we have to lie to save our asses sometimes and drown someone to save ourselves other times, but I'm starting to feel that people who can't come clean and admit they're wrong come across extremely weak. I love Jim Tressel and I think he's one of the greatest things to have ever happened to Ohio State, but if he felt he was innocent, he would have fought with his life to keep his job. Those players put him in an awful situation. He didn't handle it correctly. There's probably a lot more we don't know about and hope to sweep under the rug so others can't talk shit about us. Yeah there's the Reggie Bush's and Cam Newton's, some bullshit gets through the cracks. But if life was fair, my mom wouldn't have had to hold me so many times growing up and convincing me that you be the best person you can possibly be and sometimes you get the breaks and sometimes you don't. Life owes you nothing. There is no contract that says if you do this you will get that. Roll with the punches, learn from your mistakes, and hopefully the mistakes will appear less and less.

Twentieth-twenty fifth days of summer

The Orlando Theater Fringe Festival. One of the first times I have been remotely close to feeling at home down here. I wasn't expecting it to be so big (that's what she said). The details of the event and the genuine and honest passion for the art is overwhelming. I've never met so many humble people before..... who are actors, writers, and creators. I have been stunned numerous times this week seeing a show and expecting someone to come out "That's right! I'm talented! Like my shit, bitches!". But no, I finally have that sense of community that artists are looking to one another and saying, "let's help each other survive" because if we don't, we could disappear very soon.

I've been so proud of the cleverness, risk taking, and openness of the material I've seen. I saw three one man shows and each one I wanted to thank them for leaving themselves on the stage. They all did it for the work. I haven't witnessed one person who has acted that they're better than anyone else. Actually only once, and it's ironic, or maybe not, that they were the only annoying person I came across. It's been a celebration in so many ways and I haven't even been able to take in the majority of it. One person can only do so much.

The friendliness and acceptance all around has been so satisfying. I've been able to talk to absolutely anyone I wanted to and no one is rattling off their resume or asking what you can do for them. Did you just order some food and need a place to sit? Sit anywhere. There are no cool kids tables here. We're all in the same theater geek club here.

Congratulations to all the writers, directors, and actors for a wonderful week of theater. I was invited to see some shows I never would have picked in a million years and all left me with no ideas for my writing and performing. David Lee gave an unforgettable performance and worked his way through a false fire alarm without missing a beat. How good was it? The entire crowd didn't move a muscle when the alarm went off and all prayed silently that it was a false alarm. Once we found out it was false, we blocked out the flashing strobe light that was meant to save lives and listened and concentrated on where David would take us next. Supposedly for me, it was up on stage..... thanks David.

I worry about the future of our art form and know that the passion will always be there, but fear the money won't. It was so refreshing to walk into a community that seemed to leave all egos at the door and celebrate what we were born to do. Thank you.

Nineteenth Day of Summer

First Osama. I hear Zsa Zsa is in a coma. I heard Kinecky from Grease is in a coma. I don't know how much more I can bare..... but Mr. Savage. Damn, this news came to a shock to me today. I remember watching him as a kid on the television. I admired him and hoped I would be just like him one day. I remember the first time he kissed Winnie Cooper. He spoke for kids my age and told a great story for parents my parents age. I remember his trials and tribulations going through middle school and high school. Who can forget how amazing he was in The Princess Bride? Having a story told to him by his grandpa on a sick day. His sitcom career faded a bit and a couple awful pilots that made it on fro a couple episodes. You were too young Fred Savage. Too young.

Eighteenth Day of Summer

Blogger was down. SoI slacked. Missed 9 days. The Indians are still in first place but I always tiptoe when it comes to Cleveland sports.

"Level of commitment gives level of presence"

"Presence requires being aware. It requires you allowing others to have an impact on you"

"Confidence is static. Determination is active"

"Talking about acting is like thinking about swimming. Neither one does anything"

"What is required for making art is insatiable curiosity"

"A man's work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those two or three great simple images in whose presence his heart first opened"

"Your passion must be greater than your chains or you cannot create art"

"A diamond is a lump of coal that has stuck with it"

" Should we artists align ourselves with the sane , or shall we take a chance, and walk with our pain, or the pain of others- in order to tell their stories perhaps- to let them know that someone understands?"

"Faith requires discipline and a lot of imagination"

"I take my foolishness very seriously"

As an actor, to be fully in "the moment" and to embrace every thing that is happening in the moment, there is absolutely no room for judgement. Judgement on yourself, on others, or moments that are happening. I find this hysterical because I think actors are the most judgmental people in the entire world and I believe no one is talented enough to turn it on and off when they are on stage. The only way to become judge free on stage is to become judge free in real life. When I'm done trying to change peoples' minds about that I'm going to take on the challenge of running a marathon under two hours.

Ninth Day of Summer

Flippin through pages of an issue of Rolling Stone Magazine. Let's see here: Do I read an in depth article on Justin Bieber or turn the next page and read about the history of The Clash? Seriously, I hate to sound old, but what the hell happened to music? Why do I feel that Justin Bieber should not have one article written about him in that magazine. It's probably the same side of me that hates anyone who hosts Saturday Night Live who isn't naturally funny. I love to tune in and see how great Paris Hilton is at sketch comedy. Fucking bitch. It's all about selling to the masses. Damnit!

I deal with this with my roommate. She listens to music that I label "pure shit". She loves it and I have to accept that, but it does absolutely nothing for me. I think it's more about the words now? Who can say the most fucked up shit and get away with the most and offend the most people? Put a bass beat behind it and you're good. I'm told that they have a talent, but I've heard the one song that they all have produced and I get it. I don't even like all the music that rock groups are playing now. I'm addicted to classic rock when the music fucking soared above all levels of creativity and talent. speaking of lyrics, we all know where Puff the Magic Dragon lived and where Lucy was with her diamonds. They were sold on their talents, not their looks. And the more drugs they did, the crazier their music was. They didn't do drugs as a status symbol. They didn't write music to talk about how they did drugs or had sex. They wrote music on the drugs and when they were done, then they had sex. Lots and lots of sex, and they didn't have to advertise it to anyone. I mean have you see Pete Towsend? The Rolling Stones are not a handsome group of men. Tom Petty and Bob Dylan didn't have a pussy posse. Believe me, if Pink Floyd would have written and performed the songs that Britney Spears, any of the assholes on American Idol, or anything that's on the sound track to Jersey Shore, they would have had to pack up their flying pigs and go back to England. I don't hear anyone taking chances in music anymore. You can sell a look now. It's hard to sell heart.

I'm old. I get it.

Eighth Day of Summer

"As an artist, I must take time to see. It is not healthy for me as an artist to be turned to an inner movie, always watching the "what if, if only I had's". "What if" and "if only" are poison to the artist. They throw us into the past. They dull our lens on the passing world. And it is in the passing world that inspiration lies in wait for us. If I live in the "then" instead of the "now", the art dries up"

"The doing of something productive regardless of the outcome is an act of faith. Faith means going forward by whatever means we can"

"All creative acts are acts of initiative. Art is born, but not without labor on our part. We must be willing to reach inside and draw forth what we find there."

"Wherever you are is the entry point"

"If we give something our attention, we rest our creativity on it..if we put our attention on the wrong things, they steal our energy and leave us impotent while pulling unsavory experiences into our lives"

"Finally, one just has to shut up, sit down, and write"

"Shame impacts creativity. It makes it difficult to create. Shame shuts us down, shuts us out, shuts us off"

"Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, power to retell it, to rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless, because they cannot think new thoughts"

Today as I baked myself to medium well in the pool, I read for about 5 hours. Everything I'm reading right now has to do with theater, creativity, art, being an artist, 9/11, or sports. This past semester in Avant Garde class we discussed how Genet went to prison and did all of writing and reading in their. Now that's what I call nothing to do but commit to your art. If I was in prison, between anal gang rapes, I'd read every single book ever written. I'd write as much as possible. When I thought about it today, I have that wish, I can do all those things, except getting the anal gang rape, but my roommate is a sweetheart and if I just ask.....

Tomorrow I have nothing to do. Nothing. I'm going to go to the gym and then for...oh let's say..... 10 hours I'm going to try to memorize a monologue, write a few pages to my 9/11 show, read a play, and start writing a script of an idea that came to me today. If I should get a lot of that accomplished, anal rapes for everyone!!!!

I need to stay out of the sun. I'm getting to be like Wesley Snipes black. I was Obama black yesterday, and slowly moving past Bill Cosby black now.

My favorite quote above is "Sit down, shut up and write". I think that says it all. Stop the bullshit and do something. We can talk ourselves out of anything and I'm the all time con artist of procrastination.