Globes

Tonight is one of those nights that actors and actresses around the country say "I want to be in show business and win a Golden Globe". Well, what did they do today to ensure that will happen? Or yesterday? Or all week? Or for the past 6 months? What did they do today that had nothing to do with advancing their career and how much of the day was spent doing that. I'm guessing that will be around 8-10 hours. What could have been done?

I only write this because since I've gotten to grad school, I look back at my years in the business and I'm disgusted with the mindset that so many of us actors carry which is "I'm entitled to it" or "Eventually the art and work will come to me, I mean, don't they know who I am?" or "How could that not be great? I spent at least 30 minutes on it!" . The truth is it will do everything in its power to stay away from us. Everything. We must never give it a reason to not believe in us.

New Year's

My vacation in Ohio is coming to a close and with the New Year's coming up, I've realized some things.

1) I haven't the slightest idea what the song Good King Wenceslas is about nor know any of the words.

2) Doesn't matter what city or state you're in, Wal Mart is full of the most fucked up people. There have been reports of fights in Wal Marts across the nation. What I'm absolutely sure of is they are not fighting over hygiene products.

3) On Stern, Chaz Bono admits he hates to masturbate to the thought of girls he knows or that aren't porn stars because he thinks it's insulting to them. I would like to apologize to the majority of the female population if you have felt insulted by me for the past 22 years.

4) Listening to and watching the biographies of Selena Gomez, Lady Gaga, Jonah Hill, and most of the cast of SNL has made me more depressed about my lack of efforts in show business.

5) Shingles affects 1 in 3 people and is reported to be more painful than child birth and can be fatal in some people.

6) I'm not in a mainstage show this semester and am ecstatic thinking about what I'm going to do with that time. I won't call it free time because I've never considered time to be free if there is something more I could be doing.

7) After talking to my Dad about his Republican views, I now believe the only thing the GOP lacks is a great PR director. His views make sense and are backed up with facts, but anyone can say anything on TV or in a bar that contradicts it and can be considered fact.

8) My God there are a shitload of TV shows on that have an hour to solve a case.

9) Sinead O'Connor has done her part keeping up the sanctity of marriage.

10) I was reminded that the taking a chance/failure gap is enormously smaller in college than it is in the real world. The chances that my friends and family are taking right now blows my mind. They are stepping off a cliff and trusting the air to keep them afloat. I will continue to juggle and memorize lines thank you. I am so proud of you.

11) After talking to my friends in the education system, I am more convinced than ever what I have been teaching this year. Our students are more concerned about cell phones, facebook, being right, being told what to do, finding excuses not to take chances, etc than exploring life, creativity, and challenging themselves.

Worst of all, it's starting earlier and earlier in elementary schools.

12) On that same point, School boards and superintendents can suck my dick. Oh, and please refer to #3 so you don't insult me. Stop making educators jobs everything but being about the students.

13) If our local and federal government is asking for more money through taxes, what they're really saying is " Hey, I know we're trillion dollars in debt, but we think we know where we went wrong, so give us more money and we'll fix it. We promise we won't fuck it up again." Hey, get a financial consultant.

14) A man with tourettes on a plane saying "Happy Holidays" every 30 seconds is so much better than a crying baby.

15) Watching the Baylor/Washington Bowl game was like watching the equivalent to a home run derby.

16) When people get gift cards for Christmas and take them in the store the day after Christmas, what do they expect to be on the shelves?

17) Trevin Cooper and I have proven that the two of us can have the nerdiest and most ridiculously obscure jokes about the History of Musical Theater. Who else would laugh at the text "After my 9/11 show, I'm going to write a musical like West Side Story but have The Theater Syndicate vs. The Schuberts" Oh, the comedy!!! Fact is, he laughed a lot at that.

18) Some of my favorite people got engaged over Christmas time and I congratulate all of them. I'm not weary about one of them.

19) After being in NYC for a week and coming to Ohio, my masseuse who's been working on me for years here said (not knowing I had been to NYC) "Your muscles are as tight as they were when you used to live in NYC." One week folks. I built up the defense wall of tension that I've spent 1.5 years getting rid of.

20) I confused a lot of people when I said I was heading home for a week and they assumed I meant Ohio. I'm happy to say I'm a New Yorker. Will always be a New Yorker. And that is truly my home. If I ever live there again is a question. I can't remember when that feeling changed inside me.

21) I'm a member of Urban nation. Please hop on board.

Nov 12

There are certain days I definitely feel my age here. Not so much age but definitely experience. I see these young kids with such eagerness and optimism and I'm jealous to the core. I remember being like that. I still am at times. But I'm definitely tired too. And sometimes too realistic.

Before the last curtain call of The Pajama Game, I was telling a few friends I always take a deep breath before the final bow of a run of a show and take it in because who knows if it's the last bow I'll ever take, especially as a lead role. I can remember doing that for the past 10-12 years. Luckily it's never been true. They said that was a sad way to look at it and I said it might be, but it's absolutely true. There is no guarantee that I'll get cast again. The world doesn't owe me anything. I could get in an accident today and never perform again. Who knows. I look at it as somewhat optimistic to take in a final bow and be thankful for being born into this life and having the opportunity to allow my talents to affect people. I wouldn't want to leave the stage with the idea of "screw this show, I'm ready for the next one", cause I'm sorry, there might not be another one. I went 5 years without getting a show. Sometimes months without getting a callback.

I look at the university setting and realize how damn easy it is. Here are some main stage shows, most likely you'll get in one. If you don't, here are a whole bunch of studios you can do a show in if you put it up yourself. (Oh, by the way, if you want to do that in NYC, it'll cost you at least 1200 dollars). Want to act every day? Ok. Want to sing everyday? Here are some practice rooms. (If you want to do that in NYC for an hour, that'll cost you too). Want to write something and have actors all over the place to act in it? Go at it. Need a professor to look at some of your material and give you feedback? I've never had a problem. (NYC? acting sessions can run you up to 100 dollars).

So yes. I realize I might be over eager in my not taking things for granted, but it's so God damn easy here. It can only be as hard as you make it. Unfortunately, I make it very hard for myself. I think it's because I know what's on the other side. But according to a few of my professors, it's better that I keep those stories to myself. So I will. To those in NYC who are reading this and nodding, I won't let you down. I've received some very angry texts from you that hate that I get to go to class every day and play. I know it, and I'm sorry. I promise I'll still look back in a couple years and regret not doing more.

Nov 5th

Ah, one blog post a month. Nice. Today was my first complete day off since...let's see..... when did school start? The day before that. Nope. Had auditions that day. A few days before that. I am now one semester and a few weeks away from being done with my class work at UCF and sadly, I kind of feel I'm just getting warmed up. The word that has been on my mind for the past few weeks is.... drills.

Never liked drills. Drills remind me of the dentist. Hate the dentist. Drills remind me of oil drilling. That leads to Chileans being trapped for a long time. Drills remind me of shop class. The class from 7th grade I had my first crush on a girl that I was paralyzed so much that I couldn't form a sentence around her. Drills remind me of basketball practice when I was growing up. We did something wrong and we were punished by doing suicide drills. These are drills that sucked so bad you literally wanted to commit suicide instead of living one more minute in your 13 year old physically awkward life. If I could have gotten out of suicide drills by talking to my 7th grade crush, I would have been married to her by now.

But drilling an exercise over and over again is what makes you better. No one can argue with me on this. Doing the same thing over and over again until you want to pull your hair out and it becomes so ingrained in your body that it's hard to fail. I know basketball players who shoot 500 free throws a day. I know golfers who hit 3 buckets of balls a day. I know baseball players who spend 2 hours in the batting cage. Shot after shot. Until it's as easy as going to the bathroom. Why do we not practice in the same way when it comes to acting?

We're learning in theory class that there are some countries and old acting techniques that require the student to work on their eye movements and facial movements 4 hours a day. 4 hours a day?? I think I have spent four hours in my whole life working on my eye movements. But guess what? When that person is asked to do an eye movement. They will make me look like I have no control over my eyes at all. Why is this not the standard? Why do we look at acting as something you can show up for 4 hours a week and be as good as the people who are practicing 7 hours a day? This is true. I have 4 hours of acting class a week. I have other classes that help my acting but a true acting class only 4 hours a week. Now in those 4 hours I listen a lot and take notes but I'm really only up and working about 40 minutes a week. As I say to my students, you can't learn how to swim by reading about swimming. I'm at the age where I've realized no one in life will ever give you everything you need. In college we expect everything to be handed to us because we've signed up for the classes, they give us a professor, they give us a time line, they give us projects, we have vacations, we have weekends, we have an end stop to all of this. But not in the real world. You get your degree and that piece of paper should really say "Congratulations Jason Nettle, you've made it to the real world, and it fucking sucks. You're on your own. Goodbye."

The repetition of something is what we need to succeed. People come back from basic training in great shape because they are forced to do something over and over again. Of course they want a break, but they keep pushing. As actors, we take those breaks. We plan those breaks. We arrange our schedules so we have many many breaks. That's why I was an unbelievable bartender and waiter. Because I did it over and over again and did it so many different ways that I never doubted I could and nothing that was thrown at me was too much. I bartended 40 hours a week for almost 10 years. I was damn good at it. When could I ever say that about acting and acting is 100 times harder!! I should be doing it 80 hours a week in hopes to figure out how good I could actually be.

I imagined school being a 14 hour a day job because even if you don't like what you're doing, the act of repeating a movement or muscle or thought again and again and again, you will no doubt get better. Our job as actors is to perform tactics to our partner, to get what we want, to overcome the obstacles in the given circumstances, and make it look fresh and entertaining every time we do it. We need to be storytellers and entertainers and to even be remotely successful in this business, we have to be damn good. BUT, for some reason, as actors, we have convinced ourselves that knowing a little bit about a whole bunch of things and showing up and half assing it and just trying to get by is enough to call ourselves artists. Sadly, our society and education system allows it. Imagine what kind of actor I would be if I did tactic exercises and vulnerability exercises 8 hours a day? Everyday for 2 years? I could probably walk back into NYC and have my choice on what role I wanted anywhere on Broadway. But as an actor I have more important things to do during my day. I need to watch tv, get on facebook, gossip, judge others, etc.

I guess what I'm saying is I know what it takes to get where I need to be and if I'm in school, it should be thought like that. Wake up and act, act, write, read, share, challenge yourself, explore, expand, fail, succeed, act, memorize, research, and act. But I don't. And I know I'm going to punch myself in a year or two from now because I know I won't have the time like I do now.

Why are actors who perform in porn considered porn stars? Really? Stars? You get in one film and you're considered a porn star. I wish it was that easy for actors getting into Hollywood. We like to believe so. "I'm amazing! I have worked at being an actor AT LEAST 5 hours this week. Give me your production contracts!!"

Porn stars. That's funny.

Oct 5th

Im typing on my MACBook Pro. Steve Jobs passed away today. Thank you Steve Jobs. You have so many quotes that business people use. You've been an innovator, inspiration, and workaholic. Very few of you remain. Here's a quote I saw today and made me think of people like Steve Jobs, but it goes for everyone: students, actors, artists, scientists, teachers, etc.....

Oct 4th

I was thinking about this today in class. Exactly 2 years ago today I promise you I woke up really early in the wonderful city of NYC , went to the gym, worked out, trained 1 or 2 people, tried to find more clients so that my monthly budget of 2500 dollars would be met, then went to my bartending job at Angus. I know this because I worked the Tuesday afternoon shift for almost 5 years so I'm guessing the odds would be that I'd be going to work that day. I would set up the bar and set up all the tables then I would talk to the manager about drastic, life changing topics like covering shifts, being out of coffee pots, salt and peppers not being filled from the night before, stock not being done, and real life changing things like candle use and spots on silverware. When the night crew would come in at 5, I would take my 30 dollars (Only 2470 dollars short of my budget) and go home. I would do important things that needed to be done like watch The Biggest Loser, get on facebook, and then find auditions that there would be no way in hell I'd be going to because I had 50 more hours of work that week.

Today in grad school I learned how to juggle.

I feel like I'm doing better now.

Oct 2

I had a lovely dinner with friends last night and the topic of work ethic came up. Being the "old" guy at school I was telling them that from my experience, once you get out in the real world your work ethic decreases by about 80%, if not more. If you spend 10 hours a day perfecting your craft in college, you'll find yourself only working about an hour a day in the real world. If you spend 2 hours a day perfecting your craft in college, forget about it, you might as well be looking for a new career. The reason i came back to college was because I know that the only time you grow immensely as an artist or actor is in studio and college. The moment you get your degree you will find 1,444,876,392,085,476,213 reasons not to go to an audition, expand your repertoire, learn new things, read new plays, relearn stuff you learned in school, try new things, expose yourself to new ideas, force yourself to take a chance, and the countless other things we do on an everyday basis here. I love to hear young people say "no, not me. I won't do that". HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! Yes you. I'm sorry. Even you.

I'm reading about Sondheim right now and am floored by the amount of projects, compositions, collaborative teams, collaborative projects, etc that he did while he was in school. I suppose he's done alright for himself. We live in a society now that we really want to just do enough to get by and we'll "hit it big" because deep down the Gods know how much we want it and will present us with the opportunity. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! oh, that's funny.

I'm starting to get worried about my time left here. There is so much more I want to get accomplished and I know that when I leave here some of those opportunities will be gone forever. I will never force myself to sit down and learn the things I'm being forced to learn now and that scares the hell out of me. With less than a year left, I feel like I'm a 4/10 at where I should be as an actor to compete in this business. I know what's out there. It's not getting to the 5/10, but it's the 6-8 that scares the living fuck out of me. That is an area that excites me and will take me to a place as an artist that I'm only dreaming of now. But I know how hard it'll be and how much pain there might be involved in that and maybe why I have an arm length keeping me from it. I have friends in NY who are absolutely brilliant on stage. They have done things that leave my jaw dropped and would earn them their MFA's in one day. I possess that. Somewhere inside me I do. I see drops of it every once in awhile. But it's not enough. I only live once. I want to look back at my talent at the age of 35 and say, "Oh, I was such an amateur then". Every minute, every hour, every day, every class, my goal is to get closer to that goal. I guess that's why I'm destroying myself in school right now. Because two years from now, there is a possibility that I could never act on stage again. And I don't want to wish I worked harder in school. This is my time. This is my time to make it happen.