Dear parental units,
You just celebrated 42 years of marriage and there's a few things I have to get off of my chest:
Thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you more than you'll ever know.
Thank you for showing me what love can be. Thank you for showing me what love shouldn't be. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for showing me how to take care of myself. Thank you for showing me how to take care of others. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for challenging me. Thank you for disciplining me. Thank you for calling me out when you knew I was full of shit. Thank you for making me laugh harder than I ever knew it was possible for one person to laugh. Thank you for letting me do drama and music. Thank you for supporting me through those challenges. Thank you for making me stick with this career even though I'd call you saying I wanted to quit. Thank you for educating me about my family tree. Thank you for giving me a family tree that other families think is strange. Thank you for raising me every day instead of just selected days. Thank you for punishing me as a kid so that even as an adult, I fear your reaction more than other authorities. Thank you for every single penny you have ever spent on me. Thank you for every drop of gas you used driving me to every single thing I did growing up. Thank you for not giving up on me even when it seemed I didn't appreciate you as much as I should have. Thank you for laughing at my jokes. Thank you for letting me and Eric love and hate each other growing up. Thank you for letting me watch WWF wrestling growing up. Thank you for taking care of my friends as much as you do your own children. Thank you for doing whatever you did that made me want to be the best student and person I could be. Thank you for making sure I was doing well in school. Thank you for praising me when I deserved it and showed your disappointment when I deserved it. Thank you for being great role models as parents, spouses, friends, and citizens. Thank you for being on the other end of the phone when I needed you. Thank you for teaching me what your parents taught you. Thank you for letting me push my limits and learn from my mistakes. Thank you for not judging me when I made the same mistakes over and over. Thank you for opening my eyes when you knew I was making a mistake. Thank you for making sure I never stretched myself too thin. Thank you for never judging me. Thank you for teaching me how to drive. Thank you for taking me to voice lessons. Thank you for teaching me how to throw a ball. Thank you for teaching me that if someone was going to pay me to do something, be better than anyone else they could have hired. Thank you for teaching me about the past. Thank you for believing in my future. Thank you for creating so many inside jokes as a family. Thank you for teaching me how to celebrate my individuality. Thank you for putting food on the table. Thank you for keeping the lights and heater on. Thank you for playing catch with me even after a long day of work. Thank you for embarrassing me almost every single day. Thank you for our Christmas's. Thank you for making Tatum so wonderful through your effort with Eric. Thank you for never taking my ex girlfriends' sides. Thank you for supporting the arts. Thank you for introducing me to OSU football. Thank you for introducing me to Cleveland sports, as much as I hate it every year. Thank you for establishing an atmosphere where I knew all the words to Abbey Road before I was 6. Thank you for keeping me up on Saturday nights as a child to watch Saturday Night Live. Thank you for introducing me to every comedian growing up so I have comic timing now. Thank you for teaching me eye-hand coordination. Thank you for making me clean my room. Thank you for picking me up at the police station. Thank you for keeping Laurel and Hardy as current as they were in your time. Thank you for making me watch every great classic movie. Thank you for putting up a basketball hoop in the driveway. Thank you for letting me cuss. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for making me try things I didn't want to. Thank you for allowing me to know who Johnny Carson and David Letterman were. Thank you for taking me to see Godspell at such an early age that started this ridiculous life I'm in now. Thank you for making me appreciate the sound of a rock band. Thank you for allowing me to make such a great relationship with my grandparents. Thank you for pressuring me into asking girls out that I was too scared to ask. Thank you for thinking I was beautiful. Thank you for crying in front of me. Thank you for accepting that I'm the black sheep. Thank you for gift cards. Thank you for visiting me in NYC. Thank you for being wonderful grandparents. Thank you for showing me that a healthy sleep pattern is only optional. Thank you for showing me the concept of reading a book a day is possible. Thank you for being good neighbors to all of your friends. Thank you for introducing me to "That's what she said" and "Why don't you marry it" many many many years ago. Thank you for teaching me how to handle a relationship when the woman rolls her eyes at jokes after years together. Thank you for the great chap stick incident of 2002. Thank you for taking me golfing, even if it meant someone was going to get hurt. Thank you for being able to handle two kids with two completely different brains. Thank you for putting life in perspective and teaching me how to do the same. Thank you for the Abbott's. Thank you for thinking I'm funny. Thank you for having a distinctive laugh so I know when you're in the audience. Thank you for teaching me the concept of unconditional love. Thank you for never giving up on Gavin. Thank you for understanding Pat. Thank you for letting me go out when I come home to visit. Thank you for never hating me when I come home to visit and don't spend enough time at home. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being my best friends. Thank you for making me a Nettle.
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