You Might be an Actor if........

My writing is circulating around the internet!!!

I wrote this for fun about a year ago and I've received it twice on the internet. I'm out of my mind that my writing has actually been around the country. As long as no one claims it as their own and realizes I wrote this on Jan 26, 2007 makes me feel better. Do I copyright it? What do I do?

You Might Be An Actor...

You Might be an Actor if...

By: Jason Nettle

1/26/07

In the same manner of jeff foxworthy, I try to identify the mindset and stereotypes of my peers.

Some are obvious, and some you might need to think about a bit.

- If you are friends with Bob Cline... you might be an actor.

- If when you look at someone's headshot, the first thing you say is "those are good, who took them"..... you might be an actor.

- If your friend lands a role in a show and you tell them congratulations, but inside you're saying "I hate you, what do you have that i don't"... you might be an actor.

- If you know how to box a table... you might be an actor.

- If you know that boxing a table isn't an act of fighting.. you might be an actor.

- If you you are able to stab someone in the back 4 seconds after talking kindly to them... you might be an actor.

- If you have already written your acceptance speech for every major award show.... you might be an actor.

- If you hate the republicans because you think they are judgmental, but judge every other human being in less than 2 seconds... you might be an actor.

- If you overreact to every possible situation... you might be an actor.

- If you know that anything less than a 20% tip is unacceptable... you might be an actor.

- If you give your resume, starting with the most important thing first, followed by who you know in the first 3 minutes of a conversation with a stranger, you might be an actor.

- If you say you've been on Law and Order or Sex and the City when really you've only stood in the background... you might be an actor.

- If you know that a dropped ketchup bottle is the worst mess you could ever clean up... you might be an actor.

- If after hearing someone say they saw a broadway show, the first thing you say is that you know someone in the cast... you might be an actor.

- If you use the term "crazy busy"... you might be an actor.

- If you live in Astoria... you might be an actor.

- If you say you've been crazy busy because you've had a lot to do, but really you've spent a total of 10 hours this week working on your career.. you might be an actor.

- If you think that 10 hours of working on your career this week is much more stressful than someone who put 40 or more hours at their job, waking up at 6 am every day, getting home at 6pm, and taking care of life's problems from then until bedtime... you might be an actor.

- If you have seen someone from your past at an audition, told them you should get together soon fully knowing you have no intention to do so... you might be an actor.

- If you joined the union, and instantly thought you were in a higher class than those who weren't in the union...... you might be an actor.

- If you know that there are not pieces of paper pre made at an 8x10 size... you might be an actor.

- If you are finishing a production, and make a whole bunch of plans to see everyone when you get back to the city, and never do... you might be an actor.

- If you have ever woken up before the NY Post has been delivered to "get in line"... you might be an actor.

- If you have ever told someone that "I got back a few weeks ago and I've just been trying to get everything together since then".. you might be an actor.

- If you have ever told someone that "I have a lot going on" when that really means that you have 3 small things spread out over 3 months... you might be an actor.

- If you make more money waiting tables than you do performing... you might be an actor.

- If you have ever lied to someone straight in the eyes and said you don't read reviews... you might be an actor.

- If you receive a bad review and search for at least five things wrong with the article.. you might be an actor.

- If you have ever received an adjective, such as "sultry", for your performance in a review, and then continue to use that word for the rest of the run until it annoys everyone else.... you might be an actor.

- If you have the common sense to never, under any circumstances, give another actor a note, but word it correctly to the director or choreographer to make it look like you're confused about something and they fix it... you might be an actor.

- If you have ever used any excuse, including but not limited to: I'm not right for any part in the show, I don't want to do that show, I don't want to work at that theater, They're not going to cast from this call, they already cast the show, etc. because you're too tired and lazy to go to an audition.. you might be an actor.

- If you have ever heard of or been part of a "showmance"... you might be an actor.

- If you have absolutely no, and i mean absolutely NO problem undressing in front of others... you might be an actor.

- If you and your friends annoy others in public... you might be an actor.

- If your Ipod includes a mix of music including: Led Zeppelin, Metallica, U2, The Beatles, and the soundtrack to Joseph and the Amazing Colored Dreamcoat.. you might be an actor.

- If you always bring up that unbelievable part from that unbelievable show directed by that unbelievable person from college... you might be an actor.

- If you can name a dozen catering companies and temp agencies off the top of you head... you might be an actor.

- If you instantly become friends with blue collar workers... you might be an actor.

- If you have two show posters in your apartment, one in which you've been in.... you might be an actor.

- If you find yourself not being the center of attention and instantly start talking louder and bring the focus back on you... you might be an actor.

- If you watch way too much reality tv while complaining that there isn't enough work for actors... you might be an actor.

- If you have over 50 numbers in your cell phone of people you've worked with but will never call again... you might be an actor.

- If you choose to watch tv on a night off than go see any kind of live entertainment in the entertainment capital of the world, NYC.... you might be an actor.

- If you have never seen a non-Broadway show that a friend of yours hasn't been in... you might be an actor.

- If you say you can't afford to see any kind of theater, but go out drinking with your friends instead and drop 30 bucks... you might be an actor.

- If you have said that you are quitting the business at least 6 times this week.. you might be an actor.

- If you have mastered the art of fishing for a compliment... you might be an actor.

- If your critiquing skills are better than your being proud of someone skills.. you might be an actor.

- If you have an inside joke with at least 50 different people... you might be an actor.

- If you go see a show, and during every song you think "would this song be good for me for auditioning"... you might be an actor.

- If you sing a harmony at the end of Happy Birthday... you might be an actor.

- If you completely change your attitude, energy, focus, and self promotion from boring to high when you find out some one you've been talking to is an agent, director, casting director, or producer.... you might be an actor.

- If you answer "just auditioning a lot and keeping busy" every time someone asks what you've been up to.... you might be an actor.

- If you can name all of the celebrity couples, their baby's names, the names of the finalists to every season of American Idol..... if you read US Weekly like it's a text book... you might be an actor.

- If you have only been able to finish half of The Artist's Way... you might be an actor.

- If you play the "what friends do we have in common" game... you might be an actor.

- If you have ever referred to a celebrity by their first name only... you might be an actor.

- If you get paid for the maximum use of your voice, body, eyes, and concentration and you spend most nights drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and staying out all night... you might be an actor.

- If there are at least 3 people you hate and despise in the equity lounge every time you see them, but have never spoke a word to them... you might be an actor.

- If you have more than 6 W-2's at tax time... you might be an actor.

- If you can never hear the call letter's 1010WIN without hearing it being screamed when it's just way too early... you might be an actor.

- If you have a personal website and believe more people than just your family look at it.... you might be an actor.

- If you have 300 friends on facebook that you did a show with once and will never talk to them again...you might be an actor.

- If you have ever said "Football? Is that where you get a home run?" because you know it's wrong and you'll get a laugh..... you might be an actor.