1) I like to make lists. They are far more comical than my writing.
2) I am absolutely in love with my MFA class. I know it's only 2 weeks into it and we'll probably hate each other in 3 weeks, but these past two weeks have been the most supportive and exciting I've experienced in years. We range from ages 21-34, yeah , me being the oldest and already nicknamed the "Godfather". We are starting our own fraternity just so we feel like we're in college and we can throw parties and not feel bad about it. It's more like Old School than anything else. And I guess I'm Luke Wilson because my apt is going to be the frat home. We really just want to have a Toga party. Does Toga get capitalized? It should, it's very important. We have already cried, laughed, partied, shared, supported, studied, and reinforced each other as a group. I feel when I let go and give way to what ever is going on inside me, I will fall in the arms of my class and that's what's most important in a conservatory class.
3) Which brings me to my next point. Release. We're starting at the basics of body awareness and that is the reason for all of the crying and possibly the strength we have found as a group. Emotions are trapped in tension and 99% of us and 99% of our bodies are filled with tension. And when you release that tension..... Holy Shit! It's only been two weeks and we're (I'm) dealing with vulnerability, trust, love, hate, commitment, self esteem, and ego issues that have been stored up for 20 years up until just a month ago. We have movement class every day at 8:30 and by 8:45 I have demons shooting through my stomach and my heart and my brain and my soul wants to explode. It's hard to put your body in a neutral place because we hold so much tension and muscular behavior that we are so unaware of.
4) Kids in college now use computers for everything! I have my Superman, Toy Story, and Transformer notebooks and usually my assignment is "go to this website, print this out, type this up, and email it to this website." ?!?!?!?!?!? Do they realize I was just finishing college when the internet was introduced to society. Not once have I heard, click on ESPN.com, download some porn, check facebook and you'll be done. If that was the case, I would have passed grad school years ago.
5) I'm finally at a place again where I'm free to think and feel with my heart instead of my brain. In NY, I had to plan, manipulate, and schedule my life so I didn't fall behind. Here, everything is from the body and that is great because my schedule is made for me, my syllabus tells me what I have to do, and my paycheck should be there at the end of the month as long as I keep doing what I'm doing. We're finding our lines, characters, and behaviors come from our gut and not our head. This is the greatest gift that has ever been given to me. The answers in grad school aren't in our left brain, but what we feel, and I AM FEELING A LOT! If there is a ratio, I have an A+ and enough for the rest of the student body too.
6) Colleges are cities within cities. I went to Otterbein which was small and had one restaurant. I'm surrounded by chain restaurants, fast food joints, barnes and nobles, and stores that seriously have everything.
7) Everyone needs to STOP asking me if I'm going to go after some young freshman to date. I'm in the frame of mind where I might start dating again when I'm 40, and it's NOT going to be with an 18 yr old. I cannot believe how old I feel on this campus. I can't think of one thing I would have in common with a college student. Hey, remember the 80's? the 90's? no. ok. Remember 9/11? You were 9? ok. My cell phone is acting up. Oh? You can start a nuclear war with your phone? Awesome.
8) Cell phones. Holy all that is holy crap. I knew cell phones were popular and useful, but the amount of usage cell phones get on a college campus is insane. I think I walked by 30 people in a row once and every single one of them was talking or texting. Phones go off in the middle of class and every ring is some hip hop song. God, I'm old.
9) 2 weeks and I still have no fucking clue how to get around campus.
10) Budget Van lines and Budget Car Rental should never never never never get your money. If you've ever wanted to do me a favor, go to some other company than Budget. If I can keep them from getting 10,000 dollars, I will consider this movement worthwhile. More on that in a later blog.
11) You're really not someone's friend until they have stalked you on Facebook.
12) If you have a picture of your niece as your profile, everyone just assumes that she's your daughter since you're 34 and couldn't possibly single and without child by that age.
13) It's hot here. But totally different when you want to study your lines or do homework and can go to the pool in your complex. This will be awesome when it's january or february.
14) It's no longer pre party, but pre game when you drink before going out, even if there is no game to go to or you're not athletic in anyway.
15) UCF football is not as big as OSU football. I don't think I need to explain this one.
16) When trying to relate to your students, stay away from "classics" like Gladiator, Forest Gump, and Cheers, but it's better to use things they know about like Jersey Shore, The Kardashians, or Justin Bieber. God, I'm old.
17) I'm scared. I really am. These next two years are going to be tough. And a degree in this doesn't guarantee anything. All I can do is try to be the best I can be and hope God will take care of me. Everything happens for a reason, and I have been tossed around a lot lately, but once I get into class, I try to open up, learn as much as I can, and hope that coming to my apartment won't seem as lonely as it does right now.